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topic: evolution
first in thread: caro, evolution, 2001, 07, 31:00:39, More Leg, Less Personality
07 31:00:39More Leg, Less Personality
(caro)
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next in thread: tom2001_07_31:07:54
The Evolutionary History of The Business Suit

It seems that males of the species did righteously evolve to wear the Business Suit. For nowhere can be seen the skin of the male. Yea, should male skin be revealed in howsoever small a swatch, the lewd female surely would lose her mind with lust, tearing the rest of his garments from him and taking him by force. Find ye evidence of this in male nonbusiness attire. For who in his right mind might set forth from the saftey of his own home and venture out with midriff or shoulder revealed to the wanton feminine eye abroad? Nay, do we observe that he righteously cover up even to his knees, even in the very surf in which shameless females do cavort nakedly and licentiously, veiling his manliness in hang-ten shorts little shorter than his Office Slacks, no curvacious line of his buttocks to be found amongst the folds and flows of his skirts. It is written that Nature hath wisely provided for the survival only of the fittest male, and he who would bare his thigh didst die out long ago--were it otherwise, male nudity would now abound. Forsooth, the male must remain forever covered. Yet, even so, may his calf be revealed unto her gaze, twixt elastic of sock and hem of short; then too, a bit of masculine hair springs flirtatiously from under three-quarter sleeves, that Woman may not forget her desire altogether. For it is the will of god and our selfish genes that we go forward and be fruitful--only not too fruitful (and not too forward, neither!). Hence, I say unto ye, the Business Suit hath its origin in the uncontrollable sex drive of Woman, who would fill herself up with the member of every Man who dare cross her path! Arroint thee, unworthy visions, and quit the female mind as ye hath escaped her sight. Hail, to the haberdasher! Ye hath saved the male from insatiable onslaughts, and rescued the female from damnable promiscuity! Amen.
07 31:07:54Of Chimps and Men
(tom)
evolution
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(previous in thread, caro) : ~
~ The Evolutionary History of The Business Suit
~
~ It seems that males of the species did righteously evolve to wear
~ the Business Suit. For nowhere can be seen the skin of the male.
~ Yea, should male skin be revealed in howsoever small a swatch, the
~ lewd female surely would lose her mind with lust, tearing the rest
of his garments from him and taking him by force.

It is commonly understood today [1] that the ratio of coverage in men's versus women's clothing is a product of human sexual evolution. The intellectual capacity of the average human male is fully utilized by the act of respiration, leaving very little processing power available for other activity. Men have evolved to be basically mindless pleasure-seakers, flitting from one source of sensual gratification to the next: they drink, smoke, do drugs, listen to ear-damagingly-loud music, drive fast cars and of course, they have sex. One only has to look at the sort of advertising that gets aimed at men to see that this is an unassailable evolutionary truth [2].

To compensate for the male's insatiable desire for pleasure, human females were under strong selective pressure to become rational. Fortunately, males seem to get some rational capacity from their single X-chromosome--without this it is likely that males would have died out entirely.

The voracious sexuality of the male presented early human females with a Darwinian competitive threat: males would fuck anything, including sheep, cows, trees and each other, with wild abandon. Attracting a male in one of the brief moments when he was capable of getting an erection but hadn't yet found something to stick it in, particularly as the population of males with members undamaged by indisciminant sexual experimentation shrank, posed a serious problem for the human female. To this end, she devised a series of strategems designed to ensure that human females were always and only the most sexually alluring objects in the male view.

Keeping men's bodies decently covered is central to this approach, as is making sure that wherever a man looks he is continually bombarded by the view of naked female flesh. Making sure men pay little attention to fitness and personal hygiene is also important, as are vicious societal restrictions on homosexuality, which we all know are widely supported by women [3].

So all those naked females and clothed males aren't a reasult of male prefrences, but rather a result of females acting to preserve the species by ensuring that most of the time, when a male has sex, it'll be with a human female.




References:

1) Committee for Common Understanding, Report #3141592, "Simple Minded Stories that Reinforce Popular Prejudices: the evolution of human behavior"

2) Simply stating this as an observation about current conditions would of course be pseudo-scientific, or sociology at best. Real men only use evolutionary arguments, because they absolve us from all responsibility for our bad behavior.

3) Blithers, I. N., Coherent, L. Y., "'What a waste!': Women's Views of Gay Men", Journal of the Society for What We All Know, 32 (1992) 123-124
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