excerpted from caro's journal: topic: evolution

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2001_07_31:00: More Leg, Less Personality

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The Evolutionary History of The Business Suit

It seems that males of the species did righteously evolve to wear the Business Suit. For nowhere can be seen the skin of the male. Yea, should male skin be revealed in howsoever small a swatch, the lewd female surely would lose her mind with lust, tearing the rest of his garments from him and taking him by force. Find ye evidence of this in male nonbusiness attire. For who in his right mind might set forth from the saftey of his own home and venture out with midriff or shoulder revealed to the wanton feminine eye abroad? Nay, do we observe that he righteously cover up even to his knees, even in the very surf in which shameless females do cavort nakedly and licentiously, veiling his manliness in hang-ten shorts little shorter than his Office Slacks, no curvacious line of his buttocks to be found amongst the folds and flows of his skirts. It is written that Nature hath wisely provided for the survival only of the fittest male, and he who would bare his thigh didst die out long ago--were it otherwise, male nudity would now abound. Forsooth, the male must remain forever covered. Yet, even so, may his calf be revealed unto her gaze, twixt elastic of sock and hem of short; then too, a bit of masculine hair springs flirtatiously from under three-quarter sleeves, that Woman may not forget her desire altogether. For it is the will of god and our selfish genes that we go forward and be fruitful--only not too fruitful (and not too forward, neither!). Hence, I say unto ye, the Business Suit hath its origin in the uncontrollable sex drive of Woman, who would fill herself up with the member of every Man who dare cross her path! Arroint thee, unworthy visions, and quit the female mind as ye hath escaped her sight. Hail, to the haberdasher! Ye hath saved the male from insatiable onslaughts, and rescued the female from damnable promiscuity! Amen.