excerpted from caro's journal: topic: predictions

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2001_04_15:12: How We Choose

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By the year 2020, class-action law suits will have begun targeting the environmental "scientists" of the 1980's and '90's for indirectly causing increased incidence of skin cancer and risk for skin cancer in the U.S. under-sixty population.

Hypothesis: The sun is not bad for people. Human beings are fit to live on Earth. The reason that some races are pale and blue-eyed is so that they can get _more_ sun during the months of unclothedness. With the sun, the human body produces vitamin D, an essential nutrient that, most dramatically speaking, prevents the disease rickets, which is manifested in the softening and bending of bones. The under-forty population has been so terrified by environmental "science" that, not only do they not venture outside without massive doses of sunscreen, but they slather the stuff on innocent infants and children as well. This panic-reaction keeps the pale population exceedingly pale, and, instead of building up a gradual tolerance to the sun's intensity, they remain helplessly transparent to it, so that the first time they are caught out they get severely burnt (in very odd patterns, I might add), thus increasing their risk for cancer. When enough people realize this, the whole environmental "science" infrastructure is going to crash, and lots of people are going to get their white butts sued right off, and I'm going to be laughing my tan butt right off. Everyone will smell a lot better too, being free of the chemicals currently employed to keep the life-giving sun off their bodies.

The sun can, of course, kill you if you get too much. Water, too, will kill you if you drink too much.
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2001_06_20:16: Testing

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HA! Liz told me that they suspect that people are more likely to get melanoma if they stay out of the sun!! Check my earlier prediction on this point.
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2001-04-27:00: Churchill lives

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By the year 2100, 80% of American males will have come to the realization that fresh vegetables are necessary for healthy functioning. Average life expectancy will have risen proportionately with the pounds of dark green leaves consumed: that of males due to the leaves, that of females due to decreased worry over partners' life expectancy. Burger King will be bankrupt due to colon-health-related law suits over this year's commercials featuring the nightmare of finding stalks of asparagus in place of french fries.
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2001_04_12:14: Quiet Man

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It's 2001. Within five years, Fabreeze odor-remover will have been determined to have caused systemic allergic reactions infants and children and to have aggravated asthma in teens and adults, and to have caused significant levels of atmospheric pollution and elevated susceptibility to upper respiratory infection in mammals, and will be banned from the market. Living creatures will breathe a collective sigh of cleaner air.

Hypothesis: The reason that people use such high doses of Fabreeze is that it doesn't remove odors; it masks them with a lot of really nasty perfume. People whose clothes continue to smell bad blame themselves in embarrassment, and resolve to add an extra cup to the next load and supplement the detergent with drier sheets supersaturated with the stuff.
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2001_07_06:15: Sundry Aversions

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Alcohol: Still only 44 cents per pint.

In 1994, I weaned myself off intranasal steroids (such as are found in Vancenase, Flonase, etc) and replaced them with a mixture of saline solution and Listerine, which latter is a mixture of isopropyl alcohol and various anti-inflammatory herbal remedies such as camphor and eucalyptus. Alcohol reduces inflammation and clears sinuses while killing bacteria and other invaders. It was an accidental discovery on my part, but it worked and I stuck with it. I used to buy Ocean or its generic equivalents to make up the mixture, but now I just use saline solution intended for soft contact-lens-soaking, the sensitive eyes variety; same stuff, at one 20th of the price. Said Liz, the optometrist, "If it's ok to put it in your eye, you can squirt it up your nose." This very mixture is now available 40 times the price over the counter, in a very small bottle.

In 1990, I began carrying a small bottle of isopropyl alcohol with me to clean my hands and face throughout the day, out of desperation caused by repeated back-to-back contagious respiratory illness and infection in the worst environment for someone with a compromised immune system: a university campus in the midwest. Somewhere around 1996, alcohol began to be sold, mixed in with a gel, as a hand cleanser, and packaged in small, pocket-sized bottles. Been there, invented that. But plain alcohol is still better, and much cheaper.

I use alcohol to clean almost everything. It's a great solvent, and will even break up grease. It evaporates quickly and without a trace. It kills microorganisms and insects on contact (ants die immediately, bigger bugs take a bit longer). Its liberal use doesn't poison the complex animals living in the house, such as humans, dogs, or plants. It shines glass and chrome and can remove lots of stains. It breaks up staining substances so that they don't discolor clothing. You can use it to denature the proteins and kill the little buggers that live in carpeting and cause allergies (it kills dust mites and mold, and if I could just get a machine to infuse it into the carpet and suck it back up I'd be very happy). It is quite cheap. And it doesn't contain anything that anyone could be allergic to. In fact, I keep alcohol handy when I garden; if I get a scratch from a plant I'm allergic to, or get sap on my skin, I dissolve the plant oil with alcohol and that's the last I have to deal with it.

I therefore predict that by the year 2010, virtually all kitchen cleaners (such as Windex, Formula 409, Fantastic, etc) will have been replaced by the much less offensive plain alcohol--but packaged in a prettier bottle (with a sprayer attached, which is how I bottle my own) and sold at an absorbitant price. In addition, all other astringent facial cleansers (such as OxyWash, Sea Breeze, Clearasil, etc), will also have been replaced by plain alcohol, which is all they are now except with lots of water and some irritating and sometimes allergenic substances added. You heard it here first.

But what about the fumes!? Alcohol is poisonous to humans!! Right. So are all the other chemicals under the kitchen sink. But it depends on the concentration and the amount of fresh air mixed in. Naturally, one doesn't want to put one's head inside a plastic bag and pour in a pint of alcohol. Evidence that alcohol doesn't kill you or cause cancer: Go to the emergency room at the hospital, or to a vet's office. What do you smell? Isopropyl alcohol. Doctors, nurses, and vets spend their entire lives in a cloud of alcohol.

Things you can't use alcohol for: wax-finished wood, water-based paint, non-chrome high-shine car surfaces, your eyes. A small proportion can be used in the sinuses, but it does burn--if you're as desperate to breath and smell as I am, it's worth it. You can't spray it directly on plants at full strength, though if it is watered down a lot it helps insecticide to penetrate the insects' skin.
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2001_07_17:17: Physical Things

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Gray and silver cars are being pushed hard this year, and I've begun to see the new models on the road. They're predominantly gray or silver. Gray and silver cars, even when clean, are about the same color as the road, which was one reason I chose a bright sparkly blue when I repainted my silver MR2. So I predict that this year will see a sharp upturn in the number of road accidents, and that the reason given for broadsiding someone's car will be "I didn't see it!" because they really didn't see it. Within three years, a law will be passed requiring all silver passenger vehicles to paste yellow reflective tape all around the body, unless reflective racing stripes have been factory-installed. Racing stripes will come back in vogue, and gray SUV's will be the new life blood of custom van scenery-painting shops.