caro thinks

Spam Dies, Tech Lives, 2003/08/22:18:0

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Cocoa being adorable. This is THE squishiest rat I've ever met. He demonstrates his bonelessness by sleeping in the most awkward-looking poses. Here he is in a clear plastic box, nose and paws pointed skyward, his friend Toast draped over him.
Praise and thanks for excellent program design, to Catherine Hampton for her SpamBouncer. If you get your mail through a UNIX server, this is the spam filter you should be using. The death of spam will be due in large part to Hampton.

If all the program did was delete the multiple emails I get everyday offering to assist me with enlarging my penis, I would be endlessly grateful. But it catches 99% of the spam I get, using all sorts of exotic rules. I sent so many enthusiastic notes about it to Tom that he was inspired to write this poem:

How do I bounce thee?
Let me count the ways
I bounce thee for being Russian
And for porno, straight or gay

I bounce thee for enlargement
Of an organ not my sex
I bounce thee for stupidity
And too many blanks in text

I bounce thee for addresses
Unknown to all my friends
I bounce thee for the virus
Or executable you sends

For reasons thus and more besides
I bounce thee, spammer-fool
Your missives pipe to dev/nul
Where my filters rule!
--Tom Radcliffe
Farsam wins the prize for Most Fanciful Use of the Word 'Luddite'. In a phone conversation this week, he accused me of being a Luddite because I coded my own online journal-writing program. I had no idea that the fear of technological change could cause one to write an entirely new program!

But I must admit, the only reason that I'm writing in my journal today is that I am procrastinating. If I weren't making fun of my friends, I'd have to write artificial intelligence code, and, being the Luddite that I am, I needed to find some way to prevent myself from promoting technological change.
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